I have always had sandy hair and light eyes. My eyes change just like the seasons. This has never been an advantage or benefit. I remember in elementary school being chased around the playground because my eyes scared someone or in high school, someone cutting my hair off in geometry class. But something happened when I went to college in New Orleans. There were lots of people who looked like me! I felt comfortable in my own skin. My hair and eye color became a non-issue. Okay, skip 29 years ahead. I am the coolest Yvette Dobbs I know. Wanna know why? I decided to accept myself. I decided to look at it as a skill that I can practice versus an innate trait that I either have or don’t.
Here are some things I have been working towards:
I celebrate my strengths. I am a much better collector of my shortcomings than my strengths. Right before I would go to sleep at night, I would replay all the places I fell short during the day. Instead of resting myself I would get myself all revved up and couldn’t sleep at night. Until one night I yelled out “Just be quiet!” I laughed and went to sleep. Now I try to think about my gifts before I go to sleep.
I shushed my inner critic. Believe me when I say, there are enough critics in my life that I don’t have to criticize myself too. I would equate my inner critic with a voice of reason. SO WRONG! So here is what I decided to do. If I wouldn’t say it to a loved one, it’s not honesty or sincerity. Done. I had to stop picking on myself.
Be kind to me. I used to hesitant showing even a shred of self-kindness because I was afraid it would seen as selfish or undeserved. But this one is easy to master. Ever been to my house? I believe in a great smelling house, shower or even washing of the hands. I like the sheets to smell good. I consider Body Butter from the Body Shop a necessity. I grind the best coffee in the morning. One of my friends came to visit this summer and he said he felt like he was at an expensive bed and breakfast. Good. I did a good job.
Quote for the week: What you think of yourself is much more important than what people think of you.