I am admitting that I am a perfectionist. Yep that’s right. I know perfectionism is my driver. It can make for some tense moments sometimes. I am the kind of person who makes a list in the beginning of the day and has to complete the whole list in that day. I work until the work gets done. Once I get interested in a subject, I gotta be a subject matter expert at it. I have to get this under control! Here are just few things that if controlled could change my life:
I am extremely hard on myself. Whenever something goes wrong, I become really hard on myself. It doesn’t matter if it’s due to my fault or just one small thing, I am always quick to beat myself up and feel extremely bad about a mistake for a long, long while. This drives me crazy. So here is what I say when things go wrong now, “Sometimes things have to go wrong in order to go right.” And leave it there….
I have extremely high standards. Whatever I set your mind to do, I always have high targets. Sometimes, these targets stress me endlessly. I may end up wearing myself out just to reach them. This also makes me the queen of procrastination out of fear that I can’t reach my goals. Ask my sister. When I was going to graduate school I would say to her at least 4 times a week, “I better go do my homework because I gotta get an A.” Finally one morning she asked, “Why don’t you do your homework in the beginning of the week so you can be done?” I had no answer!
Success is never enough. Whatever I do, there’s always a greater height to aim for. Even when I achieve X, I want 2X. Even when I achieve 2X, I want 5X. Beyond this desire for betterment, many times I’m just not happy if I don’t go for a higher, bigger goal. This can be tiring.
Yep I am working on this. But I understand this might be a long process. So here is my quote for the week: “It doesn’t matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.